monobeartheater:

verylittlebird:

a magician asks you to pick a card - any card, in fact. you do. they ask you to put the card back in the pack - anywhere in the pack, in fact. you do. they walk away. ten years later, your wife gives birth to the six of clubs. “is this your card?” the midwife asks, in a familiar voice.

what the fuck

aresnakesreal:

donatellavevo:

an emotional roller coaster from start to finish

I hate this so much more than anything

Your boobs are so supple. I'd love to cup them gently and slide my dick between them right before cumming on your face
Anonymous

theatrefetish:

Things girls look for in a boy:
•Day Man
•Fighter of the Night Man
•Champion of the sun
•Master of karate and friendship for everyone

chasingtrophywhitetails:

Does anyone else reply to a text mentally but not physically then forgets to actually reply all together or is that just me

ashestoashesjc:

i drink GATORADE to replenish my ELECTROLYTES so that i have the STAMINA to talk shit about nerds on the INTERNET 

buttercakesandteacafe:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH